2023 in review

in with the new!

Hi —

Happy New Year’s Eve!

my living room :)

I am a person who believes that a new year means something. I know that I can change my habits, and I love an occasion to say no to myself. 

I’m leaving this year with new postures. I grew a thicker skin and had to fight for softness when my cynicism started to show. I picked up running and started going to jazz shows. I wrote when I didn’t want to and slept late most days, finding grace for myself in both practices. I looked for forgiveness all over this city. I feel more hopeful now about the future than I ever did.

What are your resolutions? Next year, I want to read more, but I always say that. I’m going to wake up earlier and print out articles for my own library. I want to watch more old movies and collect sample-sized perfumes.

Below is my cumulative year in review of things I liked. Making these lists made me reflect on how much media I actually, thoughtfully consume – I hope next year it’s even more!

ALBUMS

1. Blondshell by Blondshell
   I had some angry spells this summer. There was one day in May, on my lunch break in Midtown, when I put Salad on repeat and walked the perimeter of Bryant Park in a straight line for the entire hour before I had to go back to work. It felt like boot camp for my anger. I gave myself that time to march with my eyebrows furrowed and listen to this angry song with the sun on my back while I focused on my messes as if I were unraveling a knot. And it worked! I felt less alone, throwing my hands up and recognizing my rage. 
   

   That’s how Blondshell’s debut album became the soundtrack to my year – each song came to me one by one like an angel of catharsis. Sabrina Teitelbaum’s writing is funny and self-deprecating and she just doesn’t care what you think. When I saw her in January, she looked bored as she belted out a Cranberries cover. She’s unshakable and honest and I’m excited to see what she does next!

2. Yard by Slow Pulp

3. Desire, I Want to Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek

4. Honey by Samia

5. All of This Will End by Indigo De Souza

6. Tomorrow’s Fire by Squirrel Flower
   Leah wrote an incredible review of this album here.

7. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan
   Pop perfection that is so fun to sing with your friends.

8. Heaven Knows by Pink Pantheress
   I was not expecting to love this Vicky girl so much. Everything she does makes me smile and clap my hands like one of those little monkeys with cymbals.

9. Laugh Track by The National

10. Could Have Done Anything by Charlotte Cornfield

Honorable mentions: Rat Saw God by Wednesday, Bad Dream Jaguar by Sun June, Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd by Lana Del Rey, Suntub by ML Buch, I Get Into Trouble by Maple Glider, Romantic Piano by Gia Margaret, First Two Pages of Frankenstein by The National, Raven by Kelela, Shelter by Alice Phoebe Lu, Crepuscule I and II by Tujiko Noriko, An Inbuilt Fault by Westerman, SUCKER by Ian Sweet, Javelin by Sufjan Stevens, the record by boygenius, Strange Disciple by Nation of Language, And The Wind (Live and Loose!) by MJ Lenderman

SONGS

1. Kill Her Freak Out by Samia
   I thought I was going to die the first time I heard this song. Straight away, the organ drags you into a sun-soaked nap dream before it turns into a nightmarish swimming pool of Samia’s confessions. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach just writing about it now. I’m a sucker for her lyrics – the song is a wall of her secrets and fears, a fever dream that comes to hold your hand in an ice storm of paranoia and delusion. We have simply all dated someone who is in love with a girl from their hometown!

2. Younger and Dumber by Indigo De Souza

3. A&W by Lana Del Rey

4. Fireball Whiskey by Angie McMahon

   This was my most-played song of the year on Spotify – there was a day in August when I listened to it 112 times. I brace myself every time I hear it and am still surprised by the rawness. It’s about moving on when you don’t want to, or when you don’t think you can. She talks about her anxiety and conjures up a picture of rotten food that lingers through the rest of the track. She bares it all as she says she keeps reaching for her past love even though she’s moving on to bigger and better things.

   
   An ode to growing pains and breaking habits, the song embraces the reluctance in knowing that the best thing to do for yourself is to keep stretching and growing when it hurts. I think ‘I could love you anytime’ is a devastating enough lyric on its own, but during the outro, Angie throws in ‘I cry about you all the time’ in the middle of her repetition. She admits her grief like we won’t catch it. Leaving behind a person who felt like home to you is impossible and strange, and she tackles it with a cry before settling into a quiet hum of acceptance at the end. It’s a masterpiece to me, and a shame, in my opinion, that the rest of her album released this year didn’t have more of this specificity. 

5. City Song by Gia Margaret
   I first heard this song outside a wine bar in Williamsburg. It was pouring rain and we were swimming in cigarette smoke. I’ve been a fan of Gia Margaret since her 2019 album, and I was disappointed to learn she wouldn’t sing on this year’s Romantic Piano because I love her voice so much. I need you to imagine how it felt for me to meet this song, the only song on the album that she sings on, in these circumstances.

6. Tarmac by Blondshell

7. Mio by Sofie Royer
   This is the best song to play while you’re getting ready to go out with your girls.

8. Jean by Hovvdy

9. Not Strong Enough by Boygenius
   Vulnerably admitting that I was not even that crazy about this track until I saw an edit of The Haunting of Hill House set to it on TikTok.

10. Mosquito by Pink Pantheress

CONCERTS

1. Taylor Swift twice and please don’t even joke with me right now

2. Maple Glider at The Sultan Room

   She was sick and high on cold medicine. She has the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard!

3. Indigo De Souza at Webster Hall and Prospect Park

4. Boygenius at Merriweather Pavilion in D.C.

5. Billie Marten at the Bowery Ballroom

   I interviewed her before the show and wrote about it here!

6. Caroline Polachek at Radio City 

7. Kelela at Prospect Park

8. Suki Waterhouse (Blondshell opened!) at Webster Hall

9. 79.5 at Brooklyn Made

10. Snail Mail at Gov Ball

EPS

1. The Half We Still Have by Rachel Bobbitt

2. Delusional by Dev Lemons

3. going…going…GONE! by Hemlocke Springs

TV

1. Succession (HBO)
   We will never get Succession Sundays back and that’s something I’m still coming to terms with.

2. Barry (HBO)
   This show broke my heart so many times. The Succession and Barry finales airing on the same night had terrifying consequences for my psyche.

3. I Think You Should Leave (Netflix)

4. Jury Duty (Prime Video)

5. Swarm (Prime Video)

6. Murder at the End of the World (FX on Hulu)
   I definitely recommended this too early, the ending was disappointing. But still loved the ride and Harris Dickinson.

7. The Last of Us (HBO)

8. Class of ‘07 (Prime Video)

MOVIES

1. Starling Girl

2. Poor Things

3. Babylon (Technically came out in 2022 but it was the first movie I saw this year)

4. May December

5. Anatomy of a Fall

6. Killers of the Flower Moon

7. Past Lives

8. Eileen

9. Priscilla

SCARIEST MOMENTS IN MOVIES I SAW IN THEATERS THIS YEAR

1. Bathtub scene in Beau Is Afraid

2. Possession party scene in Talk To Me

SAW MOVIES

I became obsessed with the Saw franchise this fall and watched the first nine movies in just a few weeks before the tenth one came out. I love the series so much, each installment follows the same hilarious formula and the theme song is great. SAW XI is supposed to come out in September 2024. I genuinely think they could make a million more.

1. Saw 

2. Saw VI

3. Saw X

4. Saw V

5. Saw II

6. Saw IV

7. Saw III

8. Saw 3D

9. Spiral

10. Jigsaw

FIVE THINGS I’VE CONSUMED LATELY

1. Emma and I saw Phantom Thread at the Metrograph yesterday. I had never seen it before and I feel like I was hypnotized. I cannot stop thinking about love and control and big breakfasts. Perfect movie

2. Mosab Abu Toha’s latest piece in the New Yorker about life in Gaza. Mosab is so good at writing clearly and pointedly about his hope and fear, and how the two go hand in hand as the war continues. He was detained by Israeli forces last month and his account of the experience is harrowing. If you take anything away from this newsletter, please read this article!

3. I haven’t used it yet but I think you all should know I got an egg cooker for Christmas

4. I read Simple Passion and The Possession by Annie Ernaux this year and Getting Lost is next on my list. I have been soaking up everything I can about her in the meantime. I love this review in Harper’s Magazine by Tobi Haslett and how it approaches memory and her use of the third person

5. Lydia Davis’ poem Head, Heart and this playlist I made about it

See you in the new year! 

C